74+ Zombie Jokes for this Halloween

Is it Halloween already?

Time to get your costumes and paints out.

Whether you’re dressed as a siren or as Valak or maybe like the Zombie from all of us are dead, your party’s incomplete without some punchlines to share.

Well, you can focus on your makeup and costume while we conjure up some amazing, hilarious jokes.

These 80 jokes are made just for you.

1. Classic Zombie Giggles

Why did the zombie go to school? He wanted to improve his “dead”ucation!
What’s a zombie’s favorite game? Hide and shriek!
Why don’t zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? They eat the fingers separately!
What’s a zombie’s favorite veggie? Human beans!
What do zombies say before eating dinner? “Bone appétit!”
Why was the zombie always tired? He worked the graveyard shift!
What’s a zombie’s favorite snack? Brains and crackers!
What’s a zombie’s favorite candy? Anything with a bite!
Why did the zombie get a job? To pay off his coffin loan!
What do you call a group of musical zombies? A dead band!
Why did the zombie break up with his girlfriend? She said he had no heart!
What do zombies use to fix their hair? Scare-spray!
What’s a zombie’s favorite party dance? The Thriller shuffle!
Why don’t zombies drive cars? They can’t parallel “die!”
What do zombies like on their pizza? Extra “fleshroom!”
Why did the zombie fail his driving test? He couldn’t stop “braking” apart!

2. School of the Living Dead

What do zombie students take in school? Deaducation and brain-ology!
Why was the zombie a great math student? He loved counting bodies!
What’s a zombie’s favorite subject? “Ghoul-ogy!”
What do zombies do at recess? Play tag—you’re undead!
Why don’t zombie kids do well in spelling? Too many missing letters!
What did the zombie write in his notebook? “This page left dead on purpose.”
What do zombie teachers hand out? Ghoul-d stars!
Why did the zombie skip gym class? He pulled a muscle… literally!
What do you call a zombie who aces a test? The brainiest of the bunch!
How do zombies stay cool at school? They hang out in the morgue-cafeteria!
Why did the zombie bring string to school? To tie up loose limbs!
What happened when the zombie joined band? He played the trom-bone!
Why are zombie principals scary? They give detention for life!
What do zombie librarians say? “Silence… or else!”
Why don’t zombies skip class? They’re afraid of missing “deadlines!”
What do zombies use for bookmarks? Grave markers!

3. Halloween Ha-Ha’s

What do zombies do at Halloween parties? Cut a rug… and maybe an arm!
Why did the zombie cross the road?
To get to the body shop!
What’s a zombie’s favorite Halloween costume?
Himself—he’s already terrifying!
What sound do zombies make on Halloween? Groooooaaaan!
Why did the zombie join the costume contest? He wanted to “flesh” out the competition!
What’s a zombie’s favorite Halloween treat? Toe-fu and eyeball lollipops!
Why was the zombie invited to the Halloween dance? Because he had killer moves!
What happens when zombies trick-or-treat? Everyone pretends not to be home!
What’s a zombie’s favorite horror movie? “The Walking Fed!”
Why didn’t the zombie carve a pumpkin? He was afraid of the guts!
What do zombies hand out on Halloween? Choco-limbs!
Why was the zombie late to the party? He had to drag himself there!
What’s the first rule of the zombie costume club? Always look undead!
What did the vampire say to the zombie? “You look like death warmed over!”
What’s a zombie’s idea of a good Halloween prank? Toilet-papering a graveyard!
How do zombies make their Halloween decorations? They dig deep for inspiration!

4. Short & Silly Zombie Zingers

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Rot.
Rot who?
Rotten to meet you!
Why did the zombie go to art class?
To draw his next meal!
What do zombies say when they’re surprised?
“Oh my GORE!”
How do zombies stay connected?
With dead zones and grave reception!
Why don’t zombies tell secrets?
Because they’re always leaking!
What’s a zombie’s favorite dance move?
The limb shake!
What do you call a fast zombie?
A zoom-bie!
Why was the zombie such a bad comedian?
His jokes were brain-dead!
What’s a zombie’s favorite bedtime story?
Little Dead Riding Hood!
Why did the zombie bring an umbrella?
For a brainstorm!
What’s a zombie’s favorite pet?
A bloodhound!
What kind of makeup do zombies use?
Foundation—6 feet under!
What’s a zombie’s favorite sport?
Crawl-country running!
Why did the zombie start a YouTube channel?
He wanted to go viral… again!
What’s a zombie’s favorite fast food place?
DeadDonald’s!
What do zombies use for bookmarks?
Old ears!

5. Monster Squad: Zombies & Friends

What do you call a polite zombie? “Thank you, I’m undead.”
What happens when a zombie meets Frankenstein? They really “click”—they’re both stitched up!
Why did the zombie sit next to the mummy? Because he needed wrapping help!
What do zombies say to werewolves? “Howl ya doing?”
What did the ghost say to the zombie? “You’re looking drop-dead gorgeous!”
Why don’t zombies fight vampires? Too much blood loss involved!
What do zombie pirates say? “Yo ho ho and a bottle of brains!”
What happens when zombies team up with skeletons? They rattle and groan in harmony!
Why did the witch break up with the zombie? She said he had no soul!
What do zombie cats say? “Meow-ch… I lost a paw!”
What happens when a zombie sneezes? A real nose-blower—if he had one!
Why don’t zombies like aliens? They don’t taste like chicken!
How does a zombie tell a joke to a mummy? Very carefully—so he doesn’t unravel!
What did the zombie say to the monster? “Let’s hang out sometime… limb by limb!”
Why did the zombie avoid the swamp monster? He didn’t want to get soggy!
What do zombies text their monster friends? “BRB—Buried Right Back!”